悼日落洞之虎

今天一早醒过来，仿佛中好像听见念经的声音，好像回到了五年前的清晨。
心里忽然有点难过了。

打开脸书，惊闻卡巴星先生车祸往生了。久久不能回过神来，眼泪就流下来了。生死从来就不在我们的手中。我们永远也准备不了。

从没机会见过他真人，只从报章很网络新闻上认识他。可是他的热忱，和不屈不饶的奋斗精神，为公义，为国家的抱负，让人敬佩。

忽然，他就这样走了。

生死是自然法则，要应身永久的住于世间，是有违法性的自然规则。佛陀曾经说过，“你们若要我永久住于世间，而你们却不依着我所指示的教法而行，就算我活了千千万万岁，又有什么用呢？”

“你们若能依我的教法而行，就等于我永久活在你们的心中，我的法身慧命，会遍于一切处和你们及未来的众生共在一起。”

天下没有不散的筵席，日落洞之虎已经为我们贡献了他的一生，他对公义原则，法律和宪法的坚持，我们当永记在心。继续他的斗争精神，不为强权折腰，无畏无惧共同为更公平更美好的国家努力。

伤心的眼泪过后，你们准备好了吗？

心

人的心很神奇， 这刻失意， 下一刻却又充满希望了。

好好照顾你的心， 保护你的心。

没有了心， 会活的行尸走肉，

没有了心， 还是人吗？

一切唯心造。 你的感觉， 你的爱情， 你的希望， 你的毅力， 你的行动，都由你的心决定。

起心动念， 是非常奇妙的，可是人往往不会保护自己的心。

明明对方不在爱你了， 你的心还是舍不得离开， 还是要生要死， 还是痴痴等待。
明明不可为， 还是不愿放弃。

当人的拳头要打到你的眼睛了， 眼皮马上会合起来，保护眼睛啊！

可是明明你的心要被折磨了， 你怎么还甘之如贻？

到底是心在折磨你， 还是你在虐待你的心？

年轻的时候， 我很喜欢跟自己过不去， 虐待自己的心， 越是不能得到， 越是强求。

还好当时年轻， 耗过来了。

现在， 我要好好保护我的心了。

让它活起来， 可是不能让它太痛， 不能让它太放任， 要让它多一些慈悲， 适当的时候， 也要让它狠一些， 坚强一些。

人可以骗了所有的人， 可是骗不了自己的心。

善待你的心，管好你的心。

你心情坏时， 会干什么呢？What would u do when u r angry or frustrated ?

When  I am angry or frustrated, I feel like throwing things, but i did not. (because end up I have to buy it and replace it, very painful to do that)

Or I feel like eating...eating all the sinful food (my sinful food are fried chicken, chocolate, beer..) But I did not, because I know how difficult to get back in shape.

Or I feel like going shopping and have a good tea break. But I did not, because I know how tired to pay back all the credit card later. And tonne of work is waiting for me when i come back, what need to be done is got to be done.

So, seem like I can not do this, can not do that. Very bad hur?

So, I ended up disturb my friend on FB, poke there and here.

Sorry if you happen to post something that make me feel irritated .........(basically i think i am a bit physco...not  your post irritable, but my mind see everything also irritable at that time.), that is, i start to pick fire.

Yes, I am an emotional lady who try to hide my emotion most of the time, because I don't want to be seen as failure, someone who fail to manage her emotion well.  However, I usually fail to hide. Somehow someone still see it.

When I am frustrated or angry, I would become a bit nervous, a bit crazy, a bit fussy, a bit heartless, very hot tempered. That is me, don't get shock when you see the dark sides of me.

And i believe you must be pretty close to me when you see this sides of me.

I am still trying to figure out how to handle my anger or frustration. So, at the time being, just bear with me for a while, especially if you are my close friends or families.

leader

I am not a leader, but seem that most of my friends who know me, say that I am a strong lady "女强人”。

hahaha, I am never a strong lady.

I am timid, indecisive and take life too easy, means i am a very slow person. That kill me in business.

However, most of the time, i was put in a situation whereby I need to make fast decision, I need to behave as a leader, I need to give direction, I need to deal with the "challenging" situations.

Not many people I can talk to when I am lost, but there are few, very few of them. Sometimes, they give me just a few words, that open my mind. I see light.

And there was someone, when he said nothing at all, but just a hug, he give me so much strength to carry on. I miss his hug.

I admire people who are born leader, charismatic, intelligent and accountability!  They dare to make decision, dare to give direction and dare to take up all the responsibilities especially when there is failure.

They stand up again after they tumble or fell.

I am still learning, learn to be a leader, be a brave lady in life.

And i should not forget to be a lovely friend as well, be the one who give you a hug when you need it most.

Wish me good luck,the one who tumble a lot in the process of learning.

Beginner

诸法因缘起，诸法因缘灭。 佛法难不难？

I have started to read further regarding Buddhism book lately, very interesting.

Last time, when i start reading, i fell asleep, but now i improved.

When i have a good time,  i dun bother to read anything regarding religion, just one question always mingle in my mind, "what is the purpose of life". Do we come here to grow old, to marry, to reproduce and to end our life?

That is?

When i was a student, my aim is to go to University, my parent & my teacher told me so.
When i graduated, my aim is settle for a job, hunt for a good man and build a family, because everybody do so.

But somehow or rather, there is always question in my mind, why am i here? Am i here just to complete a life cycle? Then my friends & family start telling me " u have been thinking too much, think about others who are very unfortunate! u are very lucky and blessed!"

Yes, i am. But no one answer my question.

2009, first experience dealing with death, the death of my beloved husband. I never expect the day come so fast, so sudden. But it did come。 i did not know how i have been through it, but i have been through it. My appreciation for my families & friends, their great support & love.

 当我面对我亲爱的人死亡时， 我是那么的无能为力，我还没好好道别。 我感到前所没有的恐怖，恐谎，沮丧。 我是什么都不能做。正真的失落和伤心， 是丧礼之后。

 人的生命是非常脆弱，我们永远以为我们的日子还很长。可是偏偏生，老， 病， 死， 是无人能逃得过。

我们的到来只是要丰盛的活一场， 然后再回到天堂吗？

还是生命就是不停的学习。。。轮回 ？

因缘。。。有为法， 无为法。。看来我要学习的。。还很多。

我不知道， 我要的答案会不会在佛法里。

可是， 佛法让我，对我过去的所做所为， 有了惭愧之心， 他让我面对失意之事时， 有了平常心。 他让我，在起心动念之时， 有了警惕之心。

我还是读不了佛经， 因为懒散。但是 因为亲人的死亡， 我抄了地藏王本愿经， 读了心经，它安了我的心，让我挺过了那一段日子。看来苦难有时侯，自有它的意义。

希望你我都找到心的安处。 在失意伤心时，还有力走下去。

无常的生命

昨天无意看到报章报导我邻居的孩子患上的癌症， 二十三岁的年青人。

心很难过， 我常看到他在店里帮他爸妈的忙， 是个勤劳孝顺的孩子。
孩子生病了，可怜天下父母心。 

我只能捐了一点小钱，很想帮他， 可是不知何从下手。

健康是无价，生命是无常。 愿他早日康复，重现笑颜。

愿你我珍惜健康，随缘布施，修行修心。


Life is uncertain and death is certain, may you cherish every moment in your life, may you be kind and loving to help others.  Let's live life simple without regret but not to harm others.

清明

When i was a kid, i followed my family to visit my ancestors tomb, i have no feeling besides eerie..because they were gone before i was born. 1988， my grandpa pass away, i feel sad but i didn't cry because i only see him few times in a year, i was young.

2010 is my first heartbroken Qing Ming. I prepared everything for him and visit his tomb at Nilai Memorial Park.

I look like a stupid woman who talk in front of his tomb, and weep quietly. Chinese say “天人永隔” , that is really beyond word to describe the feeling. I realized how selfish and stubborn i was to my love one when he was still alive.

I only know how nuch i love him after i lost him forever, we never ever had a chance to say good bye.

Life is short, i don't know when i will say good bye. I am so scared of losing any of my friends or family  again, but i still have to carry on the journey till the day i say good bye.

佛教说得容易， 死亡只是换一件衣服吧了， 可是我永远做不到这种豁达。

心怀恐惧， 可是依然要向前走。 但愿从此不再有遗憾和悔恨。

first try

I always want to start my own blog, however i dun know where and how to start.

Happen that i like to read my fren, Carol blog, i get to know this blogger site.

Interesting, must start blogging from now on.